A few months ago, I attended an evangelism training conference from a very reputable ministry organization in which we were taught how to do evangelism. The basis that was taught for how we can do this is to be real- I believe authenticity is a valuable characteristic. However, being authentic and being self-focused are different. The conference's teaching on evangelism emphasized exclusively on being relate-able to non-believers. Show them you are just like them, no better, no worse. Show them you have faults and sins and weaknesses and struggles and temptations, much like theirs. Share with them how you are tempted and sinful and how you need Jesus, just like they do.
The conference taught us to, and I quote, “Don’t hold back on the exact nature or your weakness and wrongdoing. Do edit the gory details out of respect for your friend….” By being real, we can make our friends feel safe to share about their own lives and needs and struggles. They focused extensively on this.
One of the practice exercises we were told to do to practice this was to turn to a partner and “Describe something that keeps tripping you up (an attitude, a behavior, a habit, a weakness, a craving)” then “Tell me something you did recently that hurt you or someone else.” Another activity had us practicing telling someone when was the last time we didn’t live up to what we know is right and good in our heart. We did not, however, then practice talking about how Jesus gave us power to overcome.
A video clip illustration we watched showed a Christian girl witnessing to her non-Christian friend by the Christian girl insisting that she is a MEAN person. She said over and over, “I’m a horrible person. Let me give you an example. I yelled at my parents, I spread rumors about people at school. See I’m just like you.” And the non-Christian retorted, “Thanks for trying, but you’re really just a goody-too-shoes. You’re not a mean person.” And the Christian girl started spouting off more examples of how she is a mean person, trying SO hard to prove how mean and bad she is. That was all the clip showed- case in point- the Christian proving to her friend how much of a sinner she was, in need of Jesus.
At the conference, we were encouraged to share our daily struggles with sin and our weaknesses with non-Christians so they can see that being a Christian doesn’t mean we’re perfect; we’re like them. This type of evangelism, and “making your friend feel safe” method was repeated over and over throughout this training….So here are my personal opinions about this theory of evangelism:
Before I accepted Christ, when I was a non-Christian teenager, living in my own sin and selfishness, before I knew anything about Jesus or being saved, I met two Christian people who changed my life. What changed my life was not the fact that they looked just like me, or acted just like me. It wasn’t that they could relate to me by insisting they struggled with the same things as me. It wasn’t that they were the same as me that changed my life. It was because they were different. There was something different about them, because they had peace, joy, purpose, and hope, in the midst of what looked like a dark and selfish world, they had a light that stood out so starkly against the darkness. I didn’t know the reason they were different (Jesus) until later. They weren’t held captive by sin and struggle and temptation and weakness, because they were free, and they didn’t focus on their weaknesses, they focused on Jesus’ strength. That’s what drew me to Christ and changed my life. It wasn’t seeing their sin that drew me to Jesus, because sin can never point someone to Christ.. It was experiencing Him through them.
In sharing Christ with others, perhaps the Holy Spirit would nudge us to share stories of our personal trials, weaknesses, and failures with a non-Christian for the purposes of testifying to God’s grace and strength. But other than those few specific instances where we share those trials, I believe we should mainly share those things with Christian accountability partners who can encourage and pray for us. I’m not saying we should be fake, or insincere, but I do think the focus needs to be less on our sins and more on Christ’s power. Less focus on how much the SAME we are as non-Christians, and more focus on the DIFFERENCE Jesus makes.
I got the feeling that the conference I attended was teaching Christians that it’s fine and normal to be ok with sin. It’s ok that you’re just like non-Christians, that you get drunk, or sleep around, or lie or cheat, etc., because we’re all just sinners, and we can’t help it. And because we are so bad anyway, we can even use those things to help us relate to non-Christians! Shame on us if we promote, make excuses for, or accept sin. When did sin become normal and acceptable instead of detestable?! Don’t preach that it’s ok to be ok with sin; show people that when God sits at the throne of our lives, when God takes the steering wheel, when we are forgiven and redeemed, we don’t have to live in slavery to our sinful natures!
Jesus wasn’t worried about people thinking He was a goody-too-shoes, or making sure people felt “safe” around Him by sharing His own sinfulness first, so they could go next and share theirs. He was perfect, and He drew people to repentance with acceptance and love and grace. Being a Christian is about sharing that grace and love with others.
By power of the Holy Spirit, I am forgiven, transformed into a new creation, and desperately in love with Jesus, and I hope that’s what others see. I hope I don’t ever have to be a witness to someone by focusing on my sins and faults. I hope, instead, I can focus on Christ- the joy, hope, grace, and unconditional, sacrificial love of Jesus.
If I were to lead a conference to teach people about evangelism, I would tell them to fall in love with Jesus. The best gift we can give the world is our intimacy with Jesus, because the world doesn’t need us; it needs Him. When we get ourselves out of the way, Jesus can truly do His work through us. Others can experience Him. When we are so intimately in relationship with Jesus, and we are in love with Him, others will see that love and feel that love. We will love the things Jesus loves, hate the things Jesus hates, and have our hearts burdened and broken for the things that break His heart. Then we will become a tool He can use to touch lives, to speak through, and to move in people’s hearts. We won’t have to worry about making people feel safe and like they can relate to us, because Jesus wasn’t a sinner, and He didn’t have trouble connecting with people. All He had to do was love them. And that’s how lives are changed. By the love of Jesus. It’s a love story.
-Lynne
